It can feel vulnerable to hear that your partner wants something different.
But their honesty isn’t a judgement of your ability. It’s an act of trust.
They’re giving you information you could never know without them. They’re inviting you into their experience instead of expecting you to guess from the outside.
Bodies change. Desire changes. Pleasure changes. It means there is something new to learn.
Perhaps one of the most generous things we can bring into intimacy is curiosity when our partner gives us feedback.
Try this in the moment
- “Thank you for telling me.”
- “Can you show me what would feel better?”
- “I want to understand, not be right.”
Being a good lover isn’t about getting everything right the first time. It’s about creating a space where neither person has to pretend that you did.
A Question to Carry With You
When someone tells you what they need during intimacy, are you able to hear their guidance as information rather than criticism?
If you would like a supported place to build confidence with honest feedback and intimate communication, learn more about Intimate Bonds coaching services.